Here's a Gem of Higher Learning

The University of west Florida, UWF, has decided to set new standards for education. In this day and age it is imperative to be well rounded in education. UWF has decided to take responsibility by offering classes that are not only well rounded, but have no foundation in research or science. In fact the class I am referring to is based solely on fictitious writings.

Who thought I was talking about the infamous 100 level "Underwater basket Weaving" class that freshmen often hear about?

Close, but no.

What is it you ask?

Here, I'll show you, because I have no words:

The first course description, the one that says: Vampires and Soul Survivors.
here is a direct link to the course description if you'd like to read it for yourself:

http://uwf.edu/nine90/crsdesc.cfm?pfx=ANG&sem=200701

If that sort of thing interests you, I wanted to give you the resources to go see it for yourself. I'm going to make fun of it anyway

So all that I know about vampires is this:

And this:

And the true extent of my knowledge is that you dress like this around late October and go door to door for free candy. If you're under 12 years of age.

I've watched some movies too. Like Underworld, Van Helsing, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Nosferatu, Elvira Mistress of the Dark etc. Not really my thing. I prefer zombie flicks, but that's a whole other topic unto itself. So my knowledge of vampires in their natural environment and habitat is extremely limited. If someone were to sit me down and explain it all to me I'm sure it would be really fascinating stuff, but the big question of: Will I care? is probably going to definitely be "no"

As for Frankenstein, Mel Brooks taught me everything I know:

I've seen some other movies about Frankenstein, but never anything endorsed by Mary Shelly, so I know even less about Frank than I do about vampires. In fact if knowledge were Halloween candy I'd know about four and a half tootsie rolls about Vampires and Frankenstein...I wish I would have had this material back in October, it would have made a great Halloween article. I'll write something Christmasey in a week or two...promise.

Because of my limited knowledge on these two subjects, a class about vampires and Frankenstein might be a good idea for someone like me, because then I'd know, and knowing is half the battle. But, that won't happen. One, because I'm not currently a student. And two, because I just wouldn't be able to sit through a class that teaches fictitious works of literature as if they are a thriving culture in this physical plane of existence. I would say they could offer a class about Klingons and the many cultures of the Star Trek universe. But then the Star Wars kids would demand that their side get equal treatment and then the unions would get involved which would lead to lawsuits and the whole program of fantasy education would have to be scrapped to avoid closing the schools forever by the ACLU.

Now go watch Harry Potter, because they deal with werewolves and witches.

P.S.





















Get the door Meatwad, it's Dracula.